Some phases in life are harder than others…

Tough phases

Doesn’t life goes in phases and the latest phase of my life has been tough for a number of reasons, hence no blogs for several months. However, sometimes it’s about hanging in there and just carrying on despite what is going on around us.

Being a parent when times are tough can be hard because if we are struggling with a difficult situation we can be tired, grumpy and inpatient, and unfortunately, often take our stress out on those nearest to us.

Equally, it is important that our children recognise that life is not straightforward, and we need to remember that because they watch us cope with our day-to-day this will influence how they cope. They are acute observers and often mirror our attitudes and behaviours.

I realise it is about my mindset, how my attitudes and behaviour come across when times are tough is so important for my teenagers, they need to learn from me and this can be challenging as I can enjoy my own “pity party” like the best of us. However, I constantly remind myself that this never gets me anywhere and often makes me feel more miserable… which always has a knock-on impact for my family and never for the positive!

It is all about the choices we make, do we moan about things, are constantly negative or  choose to be more  positive/optimistic…?  I know it isn’t easy but I would rather show my children how to be optimistic and teach them to be grateful regardless of what is going on rather than teach them how to moan and always see the negative.

Ultimately, I would like my children to be happy with who they are, able to build positive relationships, cope with the never ending pressures from education/the workplace as well as the 24/7 social media.

Therefore, for me, it is about helping them find their own way through whatever they are going through and hopefully show them that when we do go through tough times we make choices about how we cope with the day-to-day pressures.

I know, throughout my life that tough phases eventually do come to an end and I always hope that the next phase will be more positive, mine certainly feels more positive at the moment which, in turn, will hopefully have a positive impact on my family!



About Ruth James

I am a mum with 3 daughters who runs workshops for parents of teenagers. In 2019 I launched the Taunton Parenting Cafe and will be developing new and innovative workshops to support and encourage parents of children from 9yrs+
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